Airports are so cool. Hanging around at the airport is definitely the best part about travelling, you get to be in a reserved boarding area for as long as you want, eating, chilling and eating. I mean, that’s kind of the dream right?
That being said, the airport is like the father of all locker rooms. There isn’t a single locker room in the world with more men and women taking their belts off day in and day out. People in line putting all their stuff into little boxes and taking off small pieces of their clothes only so that in the end a little machine beeps and you get your body slightly violated by someone of your own gender. How wonderful.
I actually have a history with those, I’d say 90% of the time I’m passing through the metal detector that thing beeps. So, for whoever is shoving metal down my clothes, if you’re listening to this please stop, it stopped being funny after the first time. But seriously.. I don’t get it, maybe I swallowed a spoon as a kid or my dad is actually magneto and I’ll forever carry the burden of dropping the beat by the boarding gates.
One time, not too long ago, as I was about to pass the metal detector I realised I had forgotten to take off my belt. It was that awkward moment where the policeman on the other side was asking me to go through but I was trying to make the man working on the carpet thingy notice me. Which didn’t happen, therefore it beeped, as usual, but this time I had a belt and immediately told the guy, not sure if he thought me blaming the belt was too suspicious or if my slight moment of doubt before passing through the detector made me look guilty of something. Either way the man was terribly suspicious of me. He asked me if I carried any metal and here is where we need to take a break and have you, the reader, understand me. I’m an idiot, I have a big sense of humour but I’m mostly just an idiot. My reply to that question which seemed like the most natural thing to say was “no, not besides the bombs at least *stupid smile comes out as I look at the policewoman standing next to the man who was talking to me* just kidding, I am not carrying anything”. The lady found it funny because it was unexpected given the situation but the guy pushed me against the wall and proceeded to lecture me about not joking about this sort of thing as his hands checked me up.
The guy scared the living crap out of me and as for the lady she kept laughing and just told me to be careful with stuff like that because apparently I could of been held for that. Anyway, that was the last time I told anything close to a joke at an airport and to be honest I take the whole process a little more seriously mostly because the man is to this date the most intimidating figure I’ve ever encountered.
Asura's Fortress 